Second Chances
by W.H. Woolhat
Summary: Contains Myst IV spoilers! By the grace of Dream's ancient forces, Sirrus returns a year after the events of Revelation. But nothing is as he remembers it, not even himself. T for mild language. Now complete!
1. Prologue: Dream

Author's Note: I don't own the Myst universe, etc., etc., but this story's incarnation of "the stranger" is my own character.

I got the idea for this story before Myst V came out, so the events are entirely AU, and thus far contain spoilers for Myst IV. Spoilers for earlier games may pop up later on.

Please R&R!

**Prologue – Dream**

Telisha was worried. The eldest Sisters in Serenia had been traveling in Dream for hours, leaving her to look after the body of the man.

It was by far one of the strangest scenarios in Serenia's history. A year ago to the day, the Sisters had been cleaning up the old memory chamber, trying to remove al evidence of the evil that had happened there. They had been nearly done when they found the body.

At first, they thought that any body encased in a metal capsule would surely be dead, but it was quickly discovered that the man was breathing. When his body was removed from the capsule, however, the man was completely unresponsive. All he did was breathe and stare upwards with his eyes open, never blinking and never moving.

It couldn't be denied that the man was one of the two who had perpetrated evil on Serenia. The Sisters were upset by this; they had been sure that both men were dead. Finding one of them at least physically alive raised questions. Where was his mind? Would it ever come back? And, if it did, would the man return to his evil ways and upset the balance of Serenia again?

In the end, the Sisters had decided to put the man's body in a safe place and travel to Dream to as the ancestors' advice. The answers they received were strange and unexpected.

"Wait," the ancestors said, "and the story will continue to be written."

When the Sisters asked what this meant, the ancestors replied simply,

"All will become clear in time."

So the Sisters put a constant watch on the man's body in case he became alert. Every once and a while, the eldest Sisters would return to Dream to ask if there was anything else they should be doing, and, each time, the cryptic advice was repeated.

The situation was rarely talked about among the Sisters. The girl, Yeesha, would visit from outside Serenia from time to time, but the Sisters agreed that it would be an especially bad idea to mention the man's body to her. She had been through enough.

Now a year had passed, and the Sisters had decided that they needed some definite answers from the ancestors. Of course, they always trusted the ancestors' judgment, but this was a special situation, and they Sisters felt that it had caused tension in Serenia for long enough.

So the eldest Sisters had gone to Dream, leaving Telisha, who was barely seventeen, to keep watch over the motionless man. The chamber where he was kept was utterly quiet and still, and Telisha was beginning to feel cold. She wished that she knew what was going on with the Sisters in Dream.

* * *

The Sisters were, in fact, listening in fascination as the ancestors explained recent, strange events that had been occurring in Dream.

The man, they said, had entered Dream without a spirit guide. By rights, his mind should have been crushed after Yeesha was saved. The ancestors had expected this to happen, and were glad at the thought of eliminating the interloper, but before that happened, the Old Guardians intervened.

The Old Guardians were well-known in the legends of Serenia, and were always spoken of with quiet reverence. They were infinitely wise, consisting of very ancient ancestors and beings who had been around even before Serenians had begun visiting Dream. They were never seen, even by the ancestors who resided in Dream. They old Guardians occupied a higher plane, and it was said that, on rare occasions, they adopted one or two senior ancestors into their ranks.

The ancestors explained that the man must be very important somehow, if the Old Guardians had saved him. They had been looking for a way to get his mind back to his body ever since.

"If the Old Guardians are involved, what can we do?" the Sisters asked.

The ancestors replied,

"Much has been revealed. You will not have to wait any longer."

* * *

A small sound caused Telisha to look up. She had been staring at her feet, trying not to think too hard about the body gently breathing mere feet away.

The man was breathing still, but, Telisha realized, the pace of his breathing had changed. As she watched in horrified fascination, the man blinked, just once, before jerking upright.

"No!" he shouted. Then he slumped forward, clutching his head.

Telisha screamed.


	2. A Visit From the Stranger

**Chapter 1 – A Visit From the Stranger**

The stranger awoke. In fact, she was no longer a stranger; she had known Atrus for over twenty years now, and Catherine nearly as long. But once, all those years ago, a stranger was what she had been.

Her name was Samantha, but she preferred to be called Sam. She had been sixteen when her discovery of the Myst linking book had first led her to meet Atrus, and now she was visiting him on Tomahna.

It was rare that Sam was able to visit Atrus and his family without something strange happening. In fact, she had been feeling a bit apprehensive and had almost turned down Atrus and Catherine's invitation to stay the night. But it had been such a long time since she'd last visited Tomahna that, in the end, she had decided to stay.

She got up now and stretched before crossing the room. Her hazel eyes surveyed it again as she pulled on a pair of pants.

It was Yeesha's bedroom, and neat enough for belonging to a girl of eleven. The bookshelf was well-organized, and the desk was stacked with pages of D'ni script. A journal and several pens sat on the floor by the bed.

Yeesha herself was on Narayan, studying the Age and visiting a few of Atrus's friends. Catherine had insisted that Yeesha wouldn't mind Sam using the room for a night or two. Still, Sam felt a little strange. In the past, due to one thing or another, she had never managed to visit Atrus for more than a day.

But then again, things changed. This point was made even more clearly when Sam entered the kitchen and found Atrus attempting to cook breakfast with a preoccupied look on his face. Sam leaned against the doorway and watched him for a moment before asking,

"Where's Catherine?"

Atrus looked up from the stove.

"She's checking on Yeesha," he said.

"And you decided to make breakfast?" Sam asked with half a smile. Atrus nodded and poked vaguely at the contents of the pan. Sam wandered over to the counter and took an apple form the bowl of fruit that was sitting there. As she buffed it on her shirt, she asked,

"Anything wrong?"

"Hmm?" Atrus raised his eyebrows, keeping his eyes on his breakfast.

"Don't mess about, Atrus. We've known each other for over twenty years; I can tell when you've got something on your mind."

Atrus sighed.

"I feel uneasy," he admitted. "It's been a hard year."

Sam said nothing. She knew that, despite all the trouble they had caused, losing Sirrus and Achenar had been very hard for Atrus. He had spent quite a lot of his life trying to reconcile with them, only to see all his attempts fail as his sons brought about their own destruction. Sam almost wished that she hadn't been there to see it, but, as usual, she had crossed paths with Atrus at one of his times of trouble.

"Yeesha has been very quiet," Atrus continued after a moment. "She lives inside her head a lot, even for a girl her age."

"Do you think she's still upset?" Sam asked.

"She never talks about her brothers, if that's what you mean," Atrus replied. He pulled a plate out from a cabinet over the sink and scraped his breakfast onto it. "Then again, neither do I. I'm not exactly proud of anything that transpired because of them."

"All the same, they were your sons," Sam pointed out.

"Yes," Atrus said quietly, "they were." He contemplated his breakfast for a moment before asking, "Did you want any of this?"

Sam glanced at the jiggling, half-burned mass of what appeared to be eggs and herbs and shook her head as politely as possible.

"No, thanks."

"Nor do I," Atrus said with a small chuckle. He set the plate aside and got an apple from the fruit bowl, as well. Then he walked to the door and looked out, his eyes clouding with a faraway look. Sam came and stood next to him, knowing that whatever he was seeing wasn't on Tomahna.

"It's okay to be upset, you know," she said, knowing as the words came out of her mouth that they weren't very helpful, but not knowing what else to say.

"I know," Atrus sighed again and turned the apple over in his hands. "But at the same time, it's not going to accomplish anything. What's done is done, and I know that, if things had continued instead of being resolved, it would only have gotten worse."

"As resolutions go, though, that one was pretty difficult."

Atrus nodded. "Especially for Yeesha. I'm not sure that she has ever fully understood everything that happened."

"Maybe it's better that way," said Sam, twirling her apple core thoughtfully.

"I've wondered that myself."

The two of them stared out the door for a while, lost in thought. Atrus looked up when footsteps sounded from across the walkway.

"Catherine is back," he said, nodding towards the building that housed the studies. Sam looked and saw Catherine heading in the direction of the kitchen. Then she glanced back over her shoulder at Atrus's attempt at breakfast and grinned.

"Should I try and cook something?" she offered.

Atrus laughed. "I think fruit will suffice for now."

"All right." Sam decided not to mention that Atrus hadn't touched his apple.

She left the kitchen when Atrus and Catherine began talking about Yeesha. Despite everything that she had done for Atrus, Sam still felt like somewhat of an outsider when it came to his family affairs.

Compared to Atrus, Sam knew little of D'ni history and culture. She had picked up what she knew of the D'ni language along the way during her adventures, and she couldn't read it without sufficient time to analyze and translate the words. The Art involved in Books was a mystery to her, although she had seen Atrus work on several of them. Overall, Sam felt better keeping D'ni and all of its related complexities at arm's length. It was an awesome thing to contemplate, but every time she got too close to it, she got involved in another of Atrus's family dramas.

So she wandered along the walkway, passing Atrus and Catherine's bedroom before arriving outside Catherine's study. She stood for a moment, staring vaguely at the door, and then entered the building, heading for the door that led down to Atrus's study.

It felt strange, moving through Tomahna with such ease and familiarity. Atrus trusted her, Sam knew, or he never would have asked for her help as often as he had in the past. Every adventure that Sam had gone on because of Atrus had involved something very delicate or personal, and only Sam knew how close she had come at times to making the wrong decision and losing everything.

Atrus's study was quiet and cool, and smelled of books. Sam left the door open in case Atrus or Catherine came looking for her, and looked around.

Everything was exactly where she remembered it being. Atrus's desk was cluttered, as usual, with pens, paper, and books. A pedestal in the corner behind the desk still held a linking book to the strange and mystical Age of Serenia. Sam went over and flipped through its pages, marveling, as she always did, at the intricate look of the writing. She paused at the link image, remembering all that she had gone through on that Age only a year before, though it seemed like an eternity had passed since she last set foot in the bizarre, yet wonderful, landscape.

Sam closed the book and pushed her light brown hair out of her eyes. She wasn't quite sure what had led her to come into Atrus's study, but some part of her was obviously looking for something. She crossed the room, navigating around piles of books, and opened the double doors that led to the courtyard.

The courtyard was still as beautiful as ever, with trees overhanging the railings and the sun shining gently through the colored glass of the dome that curved above. Sam took a deep breath of the cool air before sitting down on the bench by the railing. She stared out into the trees, feeling apprehension creep in on her again. What was it that had her so on edge?

Footsteps behind her caused her to turn. Atrus was standing in the doorway, looking concerned.

"Is everything all right, my friend?"

"No," Sam shook her head. "I feel uneasy, too, and I'm not sure why."

A breeze stirred the trees as Atrus crossed the courtyard. He leaned his elbows on the railing and stared out at Tomahna's landscape.

"I'm afraid I have to apologize," he said quietly. Sam looked at him in surprise.

"Why?"

"I've brought you into a lot of difficult things over the years," Atrus replied, "oftentimes without warning or time for a proper explanation. You've gone through so many unpleasant things because of me, and for that I am sorry."

"Don't be. Even if I could have foreseen everything that was going to happen, I wouldn't have done a thing differently," Sam said. She laid a hand on Atrus's arm. "Trust me; I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Atrus smiled a small, sad smile.

"I don't doubt it for a minute," he said. "You've been a very good friend to me."

"I try," Sam smiled. "And, in the spirit of that, why don't you tell me what's going on in your head? I haven't seen you so preoccupied since you were making changes to Riven."

Atrus rubbed his hands together as if he were cold and stared out at the landscape again.

"I haven't even mentioned this to Catherine," he said, "but I don't think that this is over."

"What isn't?"

"The situation with Sirrus and Achenar. In my mind, I know that they're dead, but in my heart," Atrus sighed, "I feel as if there's something left to be done."

"Don't you think it's normal to feel like you have unfinished business with the dead?" Sam asked.

Atrus shook his head slowly.

"This isn't like that. When my grandmother died, there were so many things left unsaid and undone, but there was nothing that could be done to change that. My sons," Atrus's voice broke and he looked away, "my sons were not good people. I have accepted that. It was, perhaps, the most difficult thing I have ever had to accept."

"And you can't stand the thought that maybe it's better that things ended the way they did," Sam guessed.

"No, I can't," Atrus looked down at his hands. "But that very thought has been with me for a year. It torments me to think that my family is better off because my sons are dead. It seems like we have always lived in a cursed cycle of death and destruction. I wanted something better for us, but stability seems elusive. Every time that I think we have somewhere to be happy and safe, the past comes back and tears it away."

Sam knew exactly what Atrus meant. The foundations that he kept trying to build for his family had been shaken more often than was fair, and it made sense that he would fear it happening again. The whole time that Sam had known him, he had been trying to fix or improve something, and it was no different with his family. If there was one thing Atrus deserved after everything that had happened, it was peace.

"It's no use being afraid of the past," Sam said at last.

"I know," Atrus nodded, "but it's difficult to believe that when the past has a disconcerting way of finding you when you least expect it."


	3. The Old Guardians

**Chapter 2 – The Old Guardians**

Sirrus awoke and tried to remember where he was.

It was strange; he couldn't seem to remember much. He recalled waking up after what seemed like the longest sleep of his life and feeling nothing but pain, a horrible stiffness in his joints as if he hadn't moved for years. He remembered screaming, and he must have passed out, because here he was, waking up again.

But where was "here"? Where had he last been before the strange, blank sleep that seemed to have stolen his recent memory? Certainly not Spire. Sirrus knew every inch of Spire, and the quiet, dim chamber in which he was lying didn't look like any place he had seen before. High above him, arched holes in the walls served as windows, letting in slanting beams of sunlight. A cool breeze blew, stirring dust motes and pollen in the air.

Definitely not Spire, then. Sunlight and fresh-smelling air were two things that Spire utterly lacked.

Twenty years. Twenty long, torturous years in that vile place without so much as a bird for company. Nothing but stone to sleep on; nothing but stone and cold, horrible crystals as far as the eye could see. Nothing but floating rocks, heavy clouds, chilly winds, and a nasty, yawning emptiness that had slowly driven Sirrus mad. For twenty years, that emptiness had festered in his heart along with the hatred he had for his family, especially his father, Atrus, that horrible selfish bastard who…

Sirrus paused in his thoughts. He knew that he had been thinking them for most of his life. He could remember going to sleep every night on Spire, cursing his father and vowing revenge as rage and hatred burned inside him. Now, though, as he lay in this room, wherever it was, that hatred seemed very far away. Even as he thought the thoughts that had been with him for so long, Sirrus couldn't seem to feel the emotions that were supposed to go along with them. He had always been so certain that he was right and his father was wrong, but now it didn't seem to matter. He wondered why.

"So you're awake." The voice came from the doorway. Sirrus looked up cautiously, testing each joint as he moved in case the pain decided to come back.

A woman was standing in the doorway. She had dark skin and dark hair, and a red stripe was painted down the center of her face. She was regarding him with a wary, yet calculating look that made Sirrus feel as if his skin was being peeled away.

Strange. He couldn't recall ever feeling vulnerable, except perhaps when he was a very small child.

"You are the one they call Sirrus?" the woman asked, crossing the room and coming to stand next to the small bed that Sirrus was lying on.  
Sirrus nodded, wincing as pain shot through his neck.

"I am Zanika." The woman circled the bed, walking slowly, her eyes still on Sirrus as if she were measuring him up. "You have caused much upset and confusion here, Sirrus."

Sirrus finally found his voice.

"Where is here?" he asked, surprised at the pleading in his tone. He had intended to be demanding. "Where am I?"

Zanika raised her eyebrows.

"You don't know?" Seeing the bewilderment on Sirrus's face, she nodded to herself. "Of course not. Your lengthy stay in Dream must have affected your memory."

Dream. That sounded familiar. Sirrus racked his brain, trying to remember where he'd heard it before.

"This is Serenia?" he asked a moment later. Zanika smiled faintly.

"So you do remember. But how much, I wonder."

Sirrus stared at her. He must have come to Serenia at some point. He remembered leaving Spire and linking to Tomahna, but when, and how?

Then it hit him, like a rockslide. Sirrus squeezed his eyes shut as the memories came flooding back all at once, thundering into his brain like the storms that had so often plagued Spire.

He remembered kidnapping Yeesha and bringing her to Serenia. He remembered removing her memories and putting his own inside her head. He remembered how _good _it had all felt, being so close to finally obtaining the power of the D'ni, the power of the Art, a power that Sirrus had thought he deserved. He had been giddy with the thought of it, his mind buzzing with anticipation and plans…

And then his father's friend had showed up and ruined everything. Sirrus had seen her on Serenia earlier on that day. He had pretended to be concerned for Yeesha, and told the woman to return to Tomahna and get Atrus, and all the while he was itching to lunge at her and take out his rage. Her face had looked in on him when he'd first gotten stuck on Spire all those years ago, and she had left him there. She had saved Atrus instead, and sometimes, during the long, cold, lonely nights on Spire, Sirrus would see her face in his dreams, laughing at him and leaving him to rot in his personal hell.

And yet, instead of being angry at these memories, Sirrus felt disgusted. He couldn't understand it. He could very clearly remember being angry and bitter, but it was as if something in his mind now stood between him and those feelings.

Zanika was still watching him, a knowing look on her face.

"I see that you remember much," she said. "I'm sure you can understand why you are not welcome here. However, the ancestors have advised us to continue to keep watch over you for the time being."

"What?" Sirrus exclaimed.

"The ancestors are wise; we do not question what they tell us," Zanika replied. "They have assured us that we will understand everything very soon." She returned to the doorway and looked out before continuing. "You are very lucky, you know. No one who travels to Dream without a spirit guide has ever returned before. The ancestors saw you as an intruder, and were fully prepared to destroy you. Had they done so, you would have died. But a higher force intervened, and here you are." She looked back at Sirrus over her shoulder. "Even the ancestors do not know why you were saved."

Sirrus said nothing. He was confused, tired, and in pain, none of which he was very happy about, and he found Zanika's words to be annoyingly cryptic. However, he didn't have the energy to get angry about it just yet.

"Rest now," Zanika said in a softer tone. "One of my Sisters will look in on you later."

She began to leave, closing the door behind her. As Sirrus watched her go, he was suddenly seized by a strange, powerful feeling of claustrophobia and loneliness.

"Wait!" he called, trying to sit up despite the pain in his joints. Zanika didn't appear to hear him. She shut the door, and Sirrus could hear her footsteps fading.

"Wait!" he called again. This time he managed to get to his feet. His body thrummed with pain as he staggered to the door.

"I want to go home!" he shouted at it. He searched in vain for a way to open it, surprised and confused at his own urgency. He had never wanted to go home and see his family just for the sake of being with them. He had always viewed his parents, especially his father, as a means of obtaining power. He often measured their worth by how much he thought he could learn from them, and subsequently use to his own advantage.

Now, though, he wanted to be home. Something in him yearned for the air of Tomahna, and his mind was full of images from his childhood on Myst Island.

Sirrus slammed his fists against the door in frustration, and winced as every knuckle popped. He disliked not being in control of his own feelings, and he absolutely hated being trapped. He had spent too much time stuck on Spire to be able to stand finding himself in what was, essentially, another prison.

Why did the Serenians want to keep an eye on him, anyway?

The pain was too acute now to waste much time wondering. With reluctance, Sirrus made his way back to the bed and lay down. Once there, he discovered that he was rather tired, though he couldn't imagine why. Within minutes, he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Sirrus." 

The voice was deep and old, and seemed to be coming into Sirrus's mind from across a great distance. It sounded familiar, and Sirrus turned, looking for the source of it, but he was surrounded by darkness. He started to panic, and then realized that he was still asleep.

"This is a dream," he said.

"No," the voice replied, a little closer now. "Your body sleeps, but your mind is awake. We have come to remind you."

"Remind me of what? Who are you?" Sirrus asked, staring into the darkness around him, though there was nothing to be seen.

"We are the Old Guardians," came the reply, and Sirrus realized that there wasn't just a single voice, but many voices speaking at once. "We saved you, Sirrus. We delivered you from certain death to a plane outside of Dream so that you could recover and remember. Surely you haven't forgotten?"

"Forgotten what?" Sirrus asked, beginning to feel confused. There was a faint ripple in the darkness, felt rather than seen, and Sirrus got the impression that the Old Guardians were frustrated. After a moment, he began to hear whispers as voices from the multitude that had been speaking to him began conversing with each other.

"A year!" said one. "An entire year of his time, reminding him, showing him…"

"Perhaps the shock of returning to his body…?" said another.

"No, he can't have forgotten," argued a third. "Memories are memories, whether inside a body or traveling in Dream."

This continued for some time. Sirrus was extremely uncomfortable, standing in a darkness that was apparently somewhere in his own mind, listening to what sounded like thousands of faceless voices talk about him none too discreetly. One thing was clear: the Old Guardians wanted him to remember something important, and he had no idea what it was.

Then suddenly, as if someone had thrown a switch, light pierced the darkness and spread out before Sirrus's eyes. It wavered and changed color, undulating and shaping itself until it had formed a perfect picture of Myst Island.

Sirrus stared. This was Myst as he remembered it from his childhood, green and sunny, the trees waving in the breeze and water lapping the shores. The library stood at one end, gleaming in the sunlight, and the devices Atrus had built at the time spread out over the island, adding their own strange, technical beauty the landscape. If Sirrus listened hard, he thought he could hear sounds, too: voices, laughter, the pounding of running feet, the creak of the library door, and Catherine singing.

"Have you forgotten, Sirrus?" the chorus of voices spoke again, now almost directly overhead.

"How could I forget Myst?" Sirrus replied quietly. "It was my home."

"And the home of your family," said the voices. Sirrus stopped staring at the picture of Myst Island long enough to look up. There was still only darkness where the voices were.

"How do you know all of this?" he demanded, suddenly suspicious. He wasn't sure that he trusted entities that could produce such a perfect picture of his childhood home without him saying a word about it.

A soft chuckling came from above.

"We are the Old Guardians," said the voices. "We spent many hundreds of years in Dream before we got to where we are now. We can see thoughts the way you can see the things that are around you. Memories and thoughts make up the landscapes of our plane. We can read them, view them, and sort them. We can even separate emotions from thoughts, or find the one true thought in a memory full of lies. This isn't trickery; it is just the way we see people. There are no mental walls in our plane."

Sirrus considered this. "So when you…saved me…"

"We saw your mind while you were in Dream and knew that you still had a purpose left to fulfill," the Guardians replied. "When we brought you to our plane, it was clear to us what that purpose was, and we tried to make it clear to you."

"But I don't remember any of that!" Sirrus exclaimed desperately.

"You will. Watch."

The picture of Myst Island blurred and refocused with a close-up of the library lawn. On it, two small boys were chasing each other around, laughing and tripping over their own feet. With a start, Sirrus recognized them as much younger versions of himself and Achenar.

"You and your brother," the voices said after a moment, "in the days when you still knew innocence, before the two of you decided that wealth and physical power were more important than family."

Sirrus watched, transfixed, as the picture changed again. The boys disappeared, clouds gathered, and rain began to hiss down over the island. The devices rusted as leaves dropped from the trees. Little by little, Myst Island died.

And Sirrus remembered. His time with the Old Guardians swam into focus from the back of his mind, and with it came memories of his childhood, of when Myst carried endless wonders instead of tools to gain power. He remembered running around outside all day with Achenar, and learning to play chess from Atrus. He remembered everyone sitting in wonder while his great-grandmother, Anna, told stories about the D'ni city. There had been trips to Atrus's Ages, full of impossibilities and interesting people, and nights full of watching the stars no matter what Age they were on. Sirrus remembered it all as if it were yesterday. And, strangely enough, he remembered missing it.

In all his time on Spire, he had thought of home merely as an escape from his prison. Once Atrus had constructed the reinforced linking chambers, allowing him and Catherine to visit whenever they liked, Sirrus had turned his mind to those, and to Tomahna, though he had never seen the place. At the time, it had all seemed so straightforward, but now…

The Old Guardians had shown him that, down below all of the anger and thoughts of revenge that had choked his mind for twenty years, he missed his family. And the Guardians couldn't lie; all they knew about Sirrus, they had discovered in his own memories. Somewhere in him, there was a kernel of loneliness and longing for what had been before greed and insanity had taken over. He felt it now as a heaviness in his chest. Now more than ever, he wanted to go home.

The Guardians spoke again. "You must make things right, Sirrus."

"What? How?" Sirrus asked, snapping out of his reverie.

"You must figure that out for yourself. We give you these memories, your own memories, as a guide. Trust in them. They are real and will serve you well."

The picture of Myst Island disappeared, leaving a single point of light. Sirrus felt himself falling toward it, the words of the Old Guardians echoing around him as he rushed back towards consciousness.


	4. An Answer

**Chapter 3 – An Answer**

Atrus, Catherine, and Sam were sitting in the courtyard outside of Atrus's study when Yeesha linked back from Narayan. She immediately ran to Atrus and Catherine and hugged them both tightly.

She looked much older than she had when Sam had seen her the year before. Though she was still undoubtedly a child, there was an air about her, a sort of weariness around her eyes that betrayed how much she had already been through in her life.

Nevertheless, it was plain that the family bonds were strong. Sam again felt out of place as she watched Yeesha talk animatedly to Atrus and Catherine about her time on Narayan. Atrus was grinning broadly, listening to every word with nothing less than his utmost attention. Sam had no doubt that it made him happy to see Yeesha so upbeat.

She suddenly became aware that Yeesha was looking at her, acknowledging her presence for the first time.

"Daddy, you didn't tell me we were having company!" the girl exclaimed happily. She practically jumped into Sam's lap and gave her an enthusiastic hug. Sam hugged her back, surprised. Atrus laughed.

"Yeesha has missed you," he said to Sam.

"Not just me," said Yeesha. She sat back on Sam's lap and added, "Anya's been asking about you."

Sam looked at her with polite incomprehension. The name was ringing a faint bell, but she couldn't remember where she had heard it before.

"You don't remember Anya? Gosh, that's too bad. Everyone on Serenia is still talking about you," Yeesha said brightly. Her eyes lit up and she turned to Atrus. "Daddy, can Sam come to Serenia with me? Everyone would love to see her."

Serenia. Of course. The strange beauty of the age flickered once again across Sam's memory. It seemed odd that the residents of that exotic Age would want to remember her a year after her only trip there, especially with all the trouble that had surrounded her visit.

Atrus seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"Do you think that's such a good idea?" he asked Yeesha.

"Sure! All the Sisters were really impressed that she traveled to Dream without training," Yeesha replied, apparently seeing no problem with her idea.

"Why don't I go make dinner while you discuss this?" Catherine said with a small smile.

"I'll help you," said Sam, easing Yeesha out of her lap and following Catherine in the direction of the kitchen.

They chopped vegetables in silence for a while before Sam could stand it no longer and had to ask the question.

"Does it ever bother you that Atrus and I are so close?"

Catherine looked up in surprise.

"No, of course not," she said. "You've been a wonderful friend to this family."

"I guess the problem is that I don't _feel _like I have," Sam sighed. "It seems like every time I show up, something weird happens."

"It only seems that way," Catherine assured her with a laugh. "Our lives are busy all the time. You've just seen us when things have been hectic, that's all."

Sam shrugged. "I suppose. I just…I feel like an outsider a lot. I know I shouldn't, especially since I've known the two of you for twenty years, but...my life isn't like yours. I'm not used to the little devices that Atrus puts on everything, and linking still makes me feel sick to my stomach."

"If it helps, I still don't understand some of the things that Atrus does," Catherine said as she filled a pot with water. "There are times when he spends an entire night in his workshop and I can't see any difference in the morning. Sometimes I find him pacing in his study and can't get a word out of him. That's just the way he is."

"He worries a lot," Sam observed.

"Yes," Catherine sighed, "he does."

The conversation trailed off when footsteps sounded on the walkway. A moment later, Atrus entered the kitchen, looking amused.

"Yeesha is intent on you going to Serenia with her," he said to Sam.

"I guess I could go, if she's so determined," Sam laughed.

"I think it would make her happy," Atrus replied. Sam didn't have to ask to know that Atrus hadn't seen Yeesha happy nearly enough lately.

"In that case, I'll go with her for a day or so," she said. "When is she leaving?"

"In the morning," Atrus answered. "She's just gone down to her room to pack and write in her journal."

"All right," Sam nodded. "I'll pack in the morning."

* * *

After dinner, Sam tried to sleep. She was bunking on the floor in Yeesha's room, and it was comfortable enough, but she couldn't manage to fall asleep no matter what she did. For a while, she lay still, staring up at the ceiling and listening to Yeesha's quiet snoring. Then, unable to stand it any longer, she got up, keeping a blanket wrapped around her shoulders for warmth, and made her way down to the platform below Yeesha's room. 

The night on Tomahna was cool and quiet. A gentle breeze whispered through the trees, and the water lapped at the side of the platform. Sam sat down and stuck her feet in the water, which was pleasantly warm despite the chill of the night.

The unease she had felt during the day refused to leave her. If anything, it had grown, and Sam was beginning to find it annoying. She was supposed to be enjoying this visit, not spending her time worrying about something she couldn't put a name to.

A noise outside the ambient sounds of the night made her look up. Across the water and several stories up, there was a light on in Atrus's workshop. That meant that Atrus was probably also suffering from insomnia. Sam sighed. Whatever this was, it couldn't go on. As soon as she got back from Serenia, she was going to figure out what to do about it.

* * *

In the morning, Sam and Yeesha linked to Serenia from Atrus's study. Sam had not mentioned her continued unease, although during breakfast she had noticed that Atrus looked rather tired, and Catherine kept shooting him concerned looks. 

Yeesha was comfortably familiar with the layout of Serenia, and struck off down a path as soon as she and Sam arrived. Sam followed, remembering how much time she had spent wandering around Serenia the year before. To her, the place had seemed like a maze of stone paths, waterways, and groves. Only a few familiar landmarks stood out as she and Yeesha walked.

Finally, they came to a place just outside of the forest where four stone pillars supported an arched dome above a stone courtyard. They were met almost immediately by Yeesha's friend, Anya. Sam vaguely recognized her pale skin and dark hair. Yeesha rushed to hug her.

"Hi, Anya!"

Anya laughed, returning the hug. "Hello, Yeesha."

"Daddy's friend came with me," Yeesha added, looking at Sam and beaming happily.

Anya nodded pleasantly in Sam's direction.

"You are most welcome here," she said, "though I don't think I ever learned your name."

"Sam," Sam replied. She was beginning to feel a little awkward. For some reason, it felt as if hundreds of eyes were staring at her, although Yeesha had Anya were the only other people visible in the courtyard.

"Yeesha, why don't you go down to the memory chamber?" Anya said to Yeesha. "Some of my Sisters are waiting for you there."

"Okay," Yeesha agreed with a smile. When she had disappeared down the path, Anya turned to Sam.

"I am very glad you have come," she said, her voice suddenly much more solemn. "Zanika will want to see you."

"What?" asked Sam. The change in atmosphere was giving her a sinking feeling. But Anya was already setting off down another path, so all Sam could do was follow.

Anya walked quickly along the stone paths, and Sam almost had to run to keep up. After several minutes, they left the path and passed one of Serenia's many water diversion devices. Large, smooth stones loomed up on either side as Anya continued to walk. Sam hurried to keep up, not wanting to get lost.

Eventually, they reached a wall of rock. To the left, a thin waterfall roared down into a small, round pool. Directly ahead, there appeared to be a square doorway in the rock. The door was shut, and a woman with dark skin and dark hair was sitting on a bench nearby. She stood when she saw Anya and Sam approaching.

"Sister Anya," she greeted Anya with a nod.

"Sister Zanika," Anya returned the nod. Indicating Sam, she added, "Our friend has returned."

Zanika gave Sam a long look that made Sam feel extremely exposed. She had no idea what was going on, and wasn't sure that she wanted to find out. She had accompanied Yeesha to Serenia basically because she knew that Atrus wanted her to, and she suddenly felt that she was in way over her head.

Finally, Zanika turned back to Anya.

"Do you agree that the ancestors have sent us an answer?" she asked.

Anya nodded. "Yes. As soon as I saw that she had come, I thought the same."

"Hold on a minute," Sam interjected. "Do I get to find out what's going on here?"

Anya looked at Zanika, and Zanika nodded.

"If you are sure," she said to Anya, "then I will show her."

"Show me what?" Sam asked. Being left out of the conversation was beginning to get annoying.

"Perhaps I should explain," Zanika said. Anya nodded in agreement before leaving Sam's side and heading back in the direction of the path. Sam looked after her for a moment, her face a mask of puzzlement, before turning back to Zanika.

"Please do explain," she said. "I'm afraid I'm not very patient when I don't know what's going on."

"A year ago, great evil came to Serenia," Zanika replied slowly. "You know this. You helped to end it, and all of us believed that it was truly gone. But we were wrong. For a very long time, the ancestors told us to wait and watch. We have done this. And I believe that your return is what we were supposed to be watching for. You are the answer to our troubles."

Sam didn't like the sound of this at all. The previous day's conversations with Atrus came back to her and she frowned.

Zanika noticed Sam's apparent distress.

"Do not be troubled," she said. "The ancestors would not have brought you here if you were ill-equipped to deal with what I am about to show you."

"I really don't think the ancestors had anything to do with—" Sam began, but Zanika shook her head and smiled.

"There are forces at work here that cannot be questioned," she said kindly. "Now come."

Realizing that protesting wasn't going to do any good, Sam followed Zanika as she went to the door in the cliff face. Before she pushed the door open, Zanika turned and advised,  
"Do not be alarmed." Then she opened the door and stood aside, allowing Sam to step through.

Beyond the door was a dim, comfortable stone chamber. Air and light came and went freely through windows high in the walls. Roughly in the middle of the room, there was a stone platform covered with cushions and blankets.

Sitting on this makeshift bed was a man. He had his head in his hands, but looked up when the door opened. Sam stopped short, staring. The dark hair and beard, the dark eyes, the set of the jaw…all were frighteningly familiar, but that was impossible…he was dead…

Sirrus stared, as well. This was the last person he had expected to see: his father's friend, his own private, personal enemy. But this time, instead of feeling angry when he saw her, a wave of relief washed over him. He opened his mouth to say something, to express how strangely glad he was to see her, only to have all the feelings crushed when she turned and stormed out of the chamber.


	5. The Decision

**Author's Note**: Thanks for all the reviews and support so far! I was kind of worried when I started this story that nobody besides me would be interested.  
In case you're wondering why Sirrus is suddenly such a softie...there'll be a better explanation, hopefully in the next chapter, but definitely by chapter 6.  
I'm working on some good dialogue between Sam and Sirrus for inclusion in the next couple of chapters.  
Thanks again, everyone!

**Chapter 4 – The Decision**

"You can't expect me to deal with this!"

Sirrus stood by the door, using the wall to support himself as he listened to his father's friend argue with Zanika outside.

"I cannot question the ancestors." That was Zanika.

"Did it ever occur to you that I just happened to be here? That maybe, just maybe, I'm not involved this time? I'm not having this visit turn into some sort of perverse rescue mission. Atrus has been through enough. There's no way I'm having a hand in bringing that psycho back into his family."

"But the ancestors did bring you here," Zanika countered, her voice calm. "Remember that my Sisters and I are more familiar with Dream than you are. We have learned to interpret the signs that the ancestors give us and to decipher their advice."

Sirrus heard his father's friend sigh.

"What exactly are you proposing that I do?" she demanded. "I can't bring him back to Tomahna with me; Atrus would have a heart attack." She paused, then, "Yeesha doesn't know, does she?"

"No," Zanika replied. "It is not time for her to know."

Another sigh. "Then I guess I've got to do something whether I like it or not. But so help me, if I find out that you're just offloading that bastard on me because you don't know what else to do—"

"There is no need for anger," Zanika said. "I can assure you that we never act without thinking. You are the only one who can do this."

"It would be a lot easier if I actually knew what it is I'm supposed to be doing."

They fell silent, and Sirrus relaxed. The pain in his joints was beginning to ease a bit, though he still felt rather stiff. He had decided very firmly not to think too hard about how his body had survived for a year without his mind, or simpler things like food, to power it. He knew that, by rights, he should be dead.

For some reason, this made him think of Achenar again. Where was he, anyway? What had become of him after that last argument they'd had? Sirrus could recall having said something vaguely threatening, but he didn't want to think too hard about that, either. Right now, all he wanted was to get off Serenia as soon as possible.

Atrus's friend had a point, though. Where would he go? Where _could _he go? Certainly he wanted to go home, but Sirrus could see now that the idea was ridiculous. No doubt his mother and father thought—no, _knew_—that he was dead, and having him suddenly turn up wouldn't do them any good.

Where _was _Achenar? The two of them had always been able to come up with a plan, even if it didn't always work out…

The door opened again and Sam entered. She was extremely annoyed, and not at all happy with the idea of what she had just agreed to do. She was also not happy to discover that Sirrus was standing mere inches from the door, looking confused but expectant.

Sam would never admit it to anyone, but Sirrus had always scared her to death. Achenar had, too, but there was something much more frightening about the cold, methodic way that Sirrus went about everything, as opposed to how Achenar would simply go around killing anything that seemed challenging at the time. Of course, all of that had changed, and Sam felt she would be much less inclined to be afraid if Achenar was the one she was facing now, but he wasn't. So for a moment she just stood and watched Sirrus, trying to get her bearings before saying anything.

Sirrus beat her to it.

"Does anyone know where Achenar is?" he asked.

Sam blinked. Surely someone had told Sirrus…? Of course not, or he wouldn't be asking the question. The Sisters probably thought that it wasn't their place to divulge the information or something. It probably wasn't hers, either, but better to answer now than have Sirrus ask the wrong person later.

"He's been dead for a year," she answered bluntly. "He died saving Yeesha. From you."

Sirrus's reaction was one that Sam never would have expected. Shock, certainly, but not the sudden, pained look of sorrow that pinched the man's features.

"Dead?" he whispered, as if he couldn't believe it.

"Yes, dead, and everyone assumed that you'd met a similar fate," Sam said. She folded her arms and gave Sirrus a critical look. "Listen, I'm going to be frank. I'm not in the mood to be nice to you. I've never known you to be anything other than manipulative, nasty, and psychotic, and there's no way I'd voluntarily reintroduce you into Atrus's life in normal circumstances. But since Zanika was more than clear on the point that you're not welcome on Serenia, it's looking like I'm going to have to do something. I am not, however, going to pretend to like it."

Sirrus looked taken aback. "I just want to go home."

"Home," Sam echoed flatly.

"Yes, home. Is that so hard to believe?" Sirrus demanded, his voice now tinged with impatience.

"All things considered, yes, it is, and I hope I don't have to remind you why," Sam sighed. "Whatever the case, the Serenians see you as the problem and me as the answer. So stay here and don't do anything stupid. I need to figure out how to handle this."

She left the chamber before Sirrus could protest and shut the door behind her. Zanika was once again seated on the bench outside. She rose when Sam came out and gave her an expectant look.

"I'm working on it," Sam told her. "Like I said, I can't just show up on Tomahna with him in tow. I'll have to talk to Atrus and go from there, assuming that he one, believes me and two, doesn't drop dead from shock."

"I fear that you are being unnecessarily anxious," Zanika said.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? I didn't even have time to put my bag down before being shown to a chamber that's housing a man who I thought was very firmly dead. Excuse me for being a little off-balance after that."

"Just remember that the ancestors found you to be right for this task," Zanika reminded her. "You are not unprepared. I hope that you will realize this."

Sam said nothing before turning and heading back in the direction of the stone paths. She wasn't entirely sure if she could find her way back to the cave that housed the Tomahna linking book, but she needed to be alone. The shock of seeing Sirrus was beginning to sink in through the anger and confusion she was feeling. She needed to have a level head by the time she got back to Tomahna. It would do Atrus no good to see her looking upset when she returned.

After a few wrong turns, Sam arrived back at the cave where she and Yeesha had linked in. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hand on the book's linking panel and felt herself being drawn back to Tomahna.

She arrived in Atrus's study, and was slightly relieved to find it empty. That gave her a few extra minutes to regain her composure while she tracked Atrus down. Hopefully, he was somewhere on Tomahna and hadn't linked off to another Age for supplies or something of the sort.

Sam took the elevator up to the workshop, figuring that was the most logical place to look. And, just as she suspected, when the elevator arrived, she could see Atrus standing at the window, looking out with a preoccupied air. He turned at the sound of the elevator docking, and looked surprised when Sam emerged.

"Is something wrong, my friend?" he asked immediately.

"That depends on your definition of wrong," Sam replied with a sigh. She set her bag down and joined Atrus at the window. There was no easy way to broach what she had to tell him, but she was going to try to at least cushion the blow.

"I saw a light on up here last night," she said. "Couldn't sleep?"

Atrus shook his head. "No. I thought I would get some work done, but it was a wasted effort. My mind is still elsewhere."

"I couldn't sleep either." Sam shifted uneasily before plunging on. "Atrus, you remember we were talking the other day about the past?"

"Of course."

"Well, it turns out that the Serenians had a reason for wanting to see me."

"I'm not going to like what you're about to say, am I," Atrus said slowly. Sam shook her head.

"No, I don't think so," she replied. She took a deep breath, and then, "Atrus, Sirrus is alive."

Atrus stared at her in disbelief. "What?"

"That's what I thought, but it's true," said Sam.

"But how? Are you _sure_?" Atrus looked completely bewildered.

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I saw him, and he's as alive as you or me. I don't quite understand how it happened; apparently there was some sort of unprecedented event in Dream, and Sirrus's mind was saved from destruction." Sam looked at Atrus and sighed again. "I'm sorry. The Serenians seem to think that I have an answer for this, but I don't."

Atrus turned back to the window, shaking his head. He was quiet for several minutes, apparently turning the situation over in his mind.

"Does Yeesha know?" he asked finally.

"Not yet, no," Sam replied.

"Good. I think it would be best to get a handle on the situation before she finds out." It was Atrus's turn to sigh. "But like you, my friend, I can't begin to imagine what can be done."

"Well, for obvious reasons, they don't want him on Serenia," Sam said.

"And I couldn't, in good conscience, send him anywhere else," Atrus added. "Sirrus is nothing if not resourceful, and I don't doubt that he could survive almost anywhere, but after Spire…"

Sam nodded sympathetically. "I know."

"Did you…speak with him?" Atrus asked tentatively. Sam nodded. "What did he say?"

"Honestly, I didn't let him get much of a word in edgewise, but…" Sam hesitated.

"Yes?"

"He said he wants to come home."

"I see," Atrus clasped his hands behind his back and frowned slightly. "I shall have to talk to Catherine."

* * *

Catherine took the news surprisingly well. In fact, she insisted that Atrus allow Sirrus to come to Tomahna. 

"Don't you see?" she said. "We're all being given a second chance. We have to do things right this time around."

The tone in which Atrus relayed this made it clear to Sam that there was no changing Catherine's mind.

"So I suppose I'll have to bring him back," he concluded, though he didn't seem happy with the idea.

"If you're sure, then I'll go," Sam offered.

Atrus shook his head. "I don't want to put you in the middle of this."

"I'm already in the middle of it," Sam reminded him with a shrug. "Remember, the Serenians think I have the answer. Anyway, if you show up on Serenia and you run into Yeesha, which you very well might, she'll know that something's wrong, and, knowing her, she'll find out exactly what it is. It's better for me to go. If need be, I can make up some excuse about why I couldn't stay."

"You do have a point," Atrus admitted. "But surely you have things in your own life to take care of?"

"Nothing that can't be put on hold for a little while," Sam replied. "Listen, Atrus, don't try to pretend you're not upset; I can see that all this is freaking you out. I've been your friend for twenty years, and I'm not going to back out on you now just because things are getting particularly weird."

Atrus sighed and smiled a thin, sad smile.

"Thank you, my friend."

* * *

Sam returned to Serenia less than an hour after she had left. After the initial effects of linking wore off, she took the Tomahna linking book off its stone pedestal, closed it, and slipped it into her bag. She and Atrus had agreed that it would not be a good idea to go wandering through Serenia with Sirrus in tow, so she was bringing the linking book straight to the chamber where Sirrus was, and the two of them would link from there. Then one of the Sisters could bring the book back to the cave as discreetly as possible. 

The idea was to keep Yeesha from finding out what was going on. On the one hand, it was deceitful, but on the other, it was the smart thing to do. It was going to be hard enough for Atrus and Catherine to adjust to having Sirrus around without having Yeesha's reaction to deal with, as well. Even Catherine thought it was best to see how things worked out before letting Yeesha know about Sirrus.

Zanika was still standing outside the chamber when Sam arrived.

"You have a solution, then?" she asked.

Sam shook her head. "Just a decision, and I'm not even sure if it's the right one. But it'll get Sirrus off Serenia, if that's what you're asking."

She pulled the linking book out of her bag and explained to Zanika what needed to be done. The woman nodded.

"I am glad it is agreed that it is not time for Yeesha to know about this," she said. Sam nodded and headed for the chamber.

"Oh, just one more thing," she added, turning back to Zanika for a moment.

"Yes?" Zanika asked.

"Once Sirrus is on Tomahna, this is out of my hands," Sam said. "Meaning that I'm not going to try and force things to work out if it doesn't look like they're going to."

Zanika smiled a knowing smile.

"All right," was all she said. Sam gave her one last critical look before going into the chamber with the linking book tucked under her arm.

Sirrus looked up when the door opened. He was lying on the bed with his arms under his head, and he had been staring at the ceiling, trying to understand everything that was going on. He had turned the words and pictures from the Old Guardians over and over in his head, and still didn't know what he was meant to do with them. He was almost glad for the interruption.

"You're coming back to Tomahna with me," Sam said. There was no point in beating around the bush.

"What?" Sirrus asked in surprise.

"We're going back to Tomahna," Sam repeated, "and what I said before still applies: don't do anything stupid."

Sirrus was speechless. Tomahna! Despite all his thoughts of home, it was the last thing he would have expected. He couldn't imagine that his mother and father actually wanted to see him, but he wasn't going to question this turn of events. He sat up, suddenly feeling hopeful, which was another emotion he wasn't used to.

Sam set the Tomahna linking book down on the end of the bed and opened it. The linking panel glowed.

"We'll link from here," she said. And, before Sirrus could reply, she placed her hand on the linking panel and was gone.

So, this was it then. Sirrus leaned forward tentatively, a few joints still protesting, feeling none of the hunger that he could remember feeling whenever he was around Books in the past. After all these years, he was going home.

He had absolutely no idea what he would do when he got there.

As he touched the linking panel, a voice echoed in his head for a brief moment:

_"We give you your own memories as a guide…"_

A few moments later, Zanika came in and collected the linking book, leaving the chamber empty.


	6. Bedrooms

**Author's Note**: I realize that there isn't a table in Tomahna's kitchen, but for the sake of this story, there is. :)

**Chapter 5 – Bedrooms**

There was a cot in the kitchen. Elsewhere, Catherine was singing, and despite the light-hearted tune that was floating into the room, the tension was tangible.

It didn't seem like angry tension, but more like the uncertainty that comes with meeting up with someone a long time after having a very bad fight with them. In a situation like that, there are no rules that dictate how to act. Silence hung over the room like a blanket.

Sam stood outside on the walkway, listening while Sirrus and Atrus said absolutely nothing to each other. She had expected something, and, she suspected, so had they, but there was nothing. No shouting, no harsh words, no audible disbelief, nothing. Perhaps after twenty years of long nights full of doubt, each thinking thoughts colored with the perspective of opposite ends of a difficult situation, both father and son figured that there was nothing _to _say.

Sam sighed. So much for second chances.

What made the whole thing worse was Catherine's optimism. Having nowhere else to put Sirrus, she had set up the cot for him in the kitchen, made it up with the most colorful blankets she could find, and stacked several changes of clothes at one end. Sam couldn't help but notice that, though clean, all of them looked as if they had been carefully saved for a very long time.

She hadn't stayed in the kitchen for long, of course. She had merely walked along behind Sirrus until she thought it was safe enough to leave him alone with Atrus.

It was confusing to see Sirrus so docile. He hadn't made a sound since they linked to Tomahna, meaning that, thus far, he hadn't tried to sweet talk, con, annoy, overpower, or yell at anyone. Considering that the memories Sam had of Sirrus mainly consisted of him doing one or more of those things, she found his current behavior strange.

She was distracted from her thoughts when footsteps sounded on the walkway. Atrus had emerged from the kitchen. His expression was difficult to read exactly, but whatever he was feeling, he wasn't happy. He leaned on the railing, not acknowledging Sam's presence at first, and stared out across the water. He was quiet for what seemed like a very long time before he finally spoke.

"This is not going to be easy," he said, his voice low.

"You knew that, though," Sam pointed out, walking over and leaning on the railing next to him.

Atrus sighed. "Yes, I did. But now, actually having him here…it's stranger than I ever could have imagined."

"Do you think it'll be okay, having him here?" Sam asked. It was a question she had been asking herself for hours.

"I don't know," Atrus admitted, "but there is nowhere else for him to go."

They were quiet again, listening to the sounds of the water and Catherine's distant singing. Then Atrus looked back towards the kitchen and shook his head.

"I might as well go try to get some work done," he said. "I don't want to push things."

Sam just nodded, and Atrus headed in the direction of his workshop.

For a while, Sam stood alone, watching the water, unsure of what to do or think. When she had helped Atrus in the past, much of her time had been spent on other Ages, using trial and error or educated guesswork to move mechanisms and machines. Often all of this had been the means of reaching some much more important end, but it had given her time to think. She had nearly always had the quiet and the privacy that she needed to sort things out before entering a tough situation.

Now, though, she was in the thick of what was possibly the most bizarre situation that she had ever encountered. It made her uneasy that Atrus didn't seem to know what to do. For as long as she had known him, he had always been observing and thinking, turning things over in his head and trying to make sense of every possible angle in order to approach a problem properly. The fact that he was apparently at a loss made Sam feel even more lost herself.

She glanced in the direction of the kitchen and sighed. Atrus was right; this was not going to be easy.

* * *

Dinner was an awkward affair. Sirrus had spent most of the afternoon lying on the cot in the kitchen, staring at the ceiling, and hadn't moved when Catherine came in to cook. He didn't respond when she attempted to start a conversation, and wouldn't get up when the meal was served. Atrus, Catherine, and Sam ended up eating in almost complete silence, each acutely aware of Sirrus's presence in the room. 

Atrus excused himself early and went back to his workshop. Sam could tell how confused and upset he was, but she had no idea what to say. It was plain that Catherine noticed his distress, too, and she got up shortly after Atrus left, presumably to go talk to him.

This left Sam alone in the room with Sirrus. Instead of letting on that this bothered her, she got up and quietly gathered the dinner dishes, placing them beside the basin that served as a sink. Then she straightened the chairs at the table and headed for the door.

When she got there, she paused. Sirrus was still staring at the ceiling as if he hadn't noticed anything that had been going on around him for the last hour.

"You know," Sam said, unsure if Sirrus could even hear her, "your sulking isn't doing anyone any good. Whatever happened to you in Dream, I doubt it happened so that you could go on making Atrus's life miserable."

Then she turned and left, heading for Yeesha's room and, hopefully, sleep.

* * *

Sam was awakened in the middle of the night by the feeling that something was wrong. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, listening. There was no sound aside from the usual quiet symphony of the night. Except… 

There was a subtle difference, an odd feeling in the shape of the air. Sam's eyes traveled the room, trying to find what was causing it, and she sucked in a breath between her teeth when she realized that someone was standing in the doorway. The dark silhouette of a man stood blocking the light on the right side of the arch.

It couldn't be Atrus. He wasn't the type to stand around if he couldn't sleep; he'd be in his workshop. That meant it had to be Sirrus. The thought made Sam uncomfortable. Sirrus hadn't moved from his cot since they had linked back from Serenia. What had suddenly possessed him to get up and, of all things, come watch her sleep?

The silhouette moved out of the doorway, but Sam could still see a shadow standing a few yards away by the railing outside. She swung her legs out of bed—she had fallen asleep fully clothed—and pushed her feet into her sandals. This had to be sorted out.

Sirrus was standing outside with his arms folded on the railing, staring into the water with a vague, unreadable expression. Sam came up next to him and put a hand on her hip.

"Mind telling me what you think you're doing standing outside my door in the middle of the night?" she asked.

Sirrus looked at her for a moment, then returned to staring down at the water.

"Bedrooms," he replied.

Sam blinked. "Pardon?"

"Bedrooms," Sirrus repeated. He rubbed his hands together uneasily. "It's not that I expected any, but it's so small here."

"What in the world are you talking about?" Sam asked. Sirrus suddenly looked so lonely that she couldn't bring herself to yell at him like she'd been intending.

"I wanted to come home," Sirrus replied, his tone wistful, "but this isn't home. Not my home, anyway. There's no place for me. I didn't expect there to be, but actually being here and seeing this place…I don't belong here."

Sam said nothing. She had no idea why Sirrus was speaking to her after almost an entire day of silence, but as he was still being strangely civil, she figured that it was best not to interrupt him.

"On Myst," Sirrus continued after a moment, "things fit. I had a brother and we had a family. Here, it's like we never existed. I can understand anger, and Father believing that we'd never be a family again, but it's like he's written us out of his life entirely. Why am I even here if I'm not wanted?"

"Myst was a long time ago," Sam pointed out. "You can't just show up here and expect everything to suddenly work out, especially if you keep acting like you don't want to be here.

"And Atrus is far from forgetting about you and Achenar. I've watched him worry himself sick for the past twenty years over decisions he made regarding the two of you. He still has your pictures on the desk in his study. I don't think there's one moment of his life where he doesn't wonder what could have been done to change things."

"If all of that is true, why do you get the bedroom while I'm bunking on a cot in the kitchen?" Sirrus demanded, a tinge of rancor entering his voice.

"Because I spent the last twenty years being a friend instead of a jerk," Sam shot back.

This was met with silence, and Sam almost felt sorry for having said it. No matter what had transpired in the past, being mean to Sirrus now wasn't going to make things easier.

"Alright, look, I don't know why you're telling me this," Sam said. "There's nothing I can do. What you're talking about is between you and Atrus, and I'm not going to be your messenger."

"_You _brought me here," Sirrus said accusingly.

"Only because other people wanted me to," Sam replied.

Sirrus didn't appear to believe this. He rubbed his hands together again and shook his head slowly.

"They didn't want me on Serenia," he said quietly. "Father could have sent me anywhere at all to get me off their hands, and yet I was brought here. Why? It seems the least logical choice, to take me from one place where I wasn't wanted and bring me to another where I'm wanted even less."

"Do you even hear yourself?" Sam demanded in frustration. "Had you taken a little time to pay attention instead of lying around like a vegetable all day, you'd have realized that that's not true. Catherine made one hell of an effort to make things look and feel inviting. She's got her hopes up so high that you practically have to climb a ladder to talk to her."

"And what about Father?" Sirrus asked, bitterness edging his words again. "What has he done? As far as I can see, he's sequestered himself in his workshop, just like he always used to when he couldn't handle something."

Sam frowned. It seemed that there was a bit of the old Sirrus left after all.

"You need to use your eyes a little more," she said softly, trying to keep anger out of her voice. "Did you see the chessboard in the kitchen?"

Sirrus raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"Not a piece has been moved since last year. Atrus hasn't touched it since he believed you died. He's not what you'd call openly emotional, but there are signs like that which betray how he's feeling."

"Why doesn't he just _say _something?" Sirrus snapped. He sounded more desperate than angry.

"Why don't you?" Sam returned levelly. "The ball's in your court, Sirrus. You make the choices now."

In the ensuing silence, Sam realized that this was the first time she had ever addressed Sirrus by name. The most she had ever managed to say to him in the past were half-heard protests, and other, nastier things that never made it out of the privacy of her mind. And now Sirrus was looking at her with an extremely bizarre expression, as if her acknowledging his existence as anything other than a faceless psychopath was the last thing he had ever expected. But all he said was,

"That hasn't exactly worked in the past."

Sam shrugged. "So make better choices this time."

"You make it sound simple," Sirrus said with a hollow laugh.

"It could be."

Sirrus looked out over the water for a long moment and appeared to be listening to something that only he could hear. Finally, he nodded.

"Maybe," he said. "Maybe, in the morning."

"In the morning," Sam echoed, and headed for the bedroom. She stood just inside until Sirrus straightened up and disappeared onto the walkway. Then she shut the door firmly and went back to bed.

* * *

Sirrus lay on top of the blankets on his cot and stared at the ceiling. Pictures from his past floated in front of his eyes like the ghosts of dreams. 

The Old Guardians had told him that he had to make things right, and now his father's friend had told him essentially the same thing. The time had come, and he was going to have to make good choices.

It dawned on Sirrus that he had no idea how to do that, or even what constituted a good choice in the circumstances, but he was going to have to try anyway. For the first time in his life, he was going to make an effort to do the right thing.

He yawned. Right. In the morning.


	7. Conversations

**Author's Note: **Sorry this chapter took so long; it was giving me a lot of trouble. I'm hoping to wrap the story up within the next couple chapters. Thanks for the continuing reviews!  
I started playing Revelation again, and I've fixed all the mistakes in Tomahna's layout. (_looks embarrassed_) It should be accurate now.

**Chapter 6 – Conversations**

Sirrus awoke early to the sound of footsteps somewhere outside. He lay still, listening to the quiet footfalls, and nodded to himself. He remembered from his childhood that his father rarely slept well, and was almost always the first one up in the morning.

He waited until the footsteps faded, and then eased himself off the cot. The pain in his joints was gone now, and for the first night in a very long time, his sleep hadn't been riddled with unpleasant dreams. On the whole, he felt good. Perhaps things really did have a chance of working out.

He stepped out onto the walkway and tried to mentally map where he'd heard his father's footsteps go. This led him to a room full of plants, and various devices that hummed and blinked in the dim light of dawn. There was a table in the middle of the room that was cluttered with papers and notebooks. Atrus was nowhere to be seen.

Sirrus walked around the room, puzzled. He was sure that his father had come this way. His vague recollections of Tomahna told him that this was the right room, but he couldn't be sure why. He was just about to go look elsewhere when he spied a door in the back wall. Turning the handle, he found it open. Beyond it, there was a passage that sloped gently downwards, and at the end of that, another door.

This opened into a dimly-lit courtyard lined with trees, with another set of doors a short distance away. Sirrus crossed the courtyard stared at them for a moment, thoughts from the night before flickering through his head. Good choices. Doing the right thing. Things had to be made right. Though Sirrus still wasn't entirely sure why he was thinking like this, he knew it was true, and he was afraid that, if he took too long trying to work out how he knew, he would lose what the Old Guardians had given him and would go back to being what he used to be. He didn't want that.

So, taking a deep breath to steady himself, he opened the door.

It opened into a spacious room that could only be a study. There were books everywhere, even some in piles on the floor. And, to Sirrus's right, Atrus sat behind a desk covered in books and papers, his head bent over a book that was open in front of him, the pen in his hand moving slowly back and forth as he wrote. Sirrus cleared his throat, still feeling nervous, but knowing that he had to speak.

"Father?"

Atrus looked up. He blinked, surprised, as if Sirrus was the last person he had been expecting to see, which, Sirrus thought, was probably the case.

"Can we talk?" Sirrus asked. If Atrus thought this was a strange request, he didn't show it. He simply nodded and said,

"Of course. Come in."

Sirrus stepped into the room, closing the door behind him, and was startled by the smell of it. It was the smell of old paper and aging tomes, of ink and pens and stored knowledge waiting to be read. It smelled, in fact, almost exactly the same as the library on Myst had, and Sirrus was embarrassed to find himself standing with his mouth half-open as he took it all in.

Atrus stood, but remained behind the desk, watching his son with his usual thoughtful expression.

"Your mother is very glad to have you back," he said after a moment, his voice quiet.

Sirrus nodded slowly. "I noticed. I…don't know what to say to her." He turned back around and looked out through the tinted glass of the doors, hands clasped behind his back. "I think she looks at me and still sees a little boy."

Atrus chuckled. "She's your mother. She always will."

"I suppose." Sirrus rocked back on his heels a bit, staring vaguely out across the courtyard. He knew that he had things to say to Atrus, but he didn't know how to put them into words. For some strange reason, he felt uncomfortable in his father's presence.

His clothes were making him itch. Why the hell was he wearing a vest anyway? Sirrus couldn't for the life of him think why he'd dressed in layers, except maybe out of habit. The person he used to be, the old Sirrus, had always thought himself to be important, and therefore, had dressed the part. Now, though, the new Sirrus found himself suddenly longing for the loose shirts and short pants that he and Achenar had worn as boys on Myst, back when they had spent most of their days running around on the lawn outside the library.

"I want things to be different, Father," he found himself saying.

From his position behind the desk, Atrus sighed. "So do I."

"I want us to be a family again."

The ensuing silence nearly buzzed. Sirrus could feel his father's emotions, though he couldn't pinpoint them. It seemed that surprise, confusion, sadness, and old anger were all fighting for space in the room.

"Do you think that's possible?" Atrus said finally. His voice was still quiet, his tone level.

Was it? Sirrus didn't know. All he did know was what he'd been told and what he was feeling, which, frankly, still struck him as a bit strange.

"I want it to be," he said.

"I think your mother feels the same way," Atrus replied.

Sirrus finally forced himself to turn around and look at his father before he asked, "Do you?"

Atrus's gaze dropped to his desk, though he seemed to be looking at something far beyond it, something only he could see. He stayed like that for a long moment before looking back up at Sirrus and shaking his head.

"I don't know," he said. It was obviously an honest answer, but it cut Sirrus like a knife nonetheless. The emotions that had been in the air seemed to have condensed in the words, forming an edge that Atrus had probably not intended to wield, but which Sirrus recognized all too well.

"You can't trust me, can you?" he found himself saying. "You can't even consider giving me another chance."

Atrus said nothing.

"I want another chance, Father!" Sirrus exclaimed, feeling the need to fill the charged silence. He was embarrassed at the desperation in his voice, but, even as he said the words, he knew that they were true, and that they had been true for a very long time. Years of anger and resentment had hidden the feeling, but now it was laid bare, hanging in the air between Sirrus and Atrus like the most delicate of bubbles.

Atrus sighed, stepped out from behind the desk, and began to pace the length of the room.

"Things are very different now," he said quietly. "It's been a long time since Myst. I do miss it, but, in some ways"—he sighed again—"I don't want to go back."

"I do," Sirrus said before he could stop himself. Atrus stopped pacing and bowed his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he were suddenly very tired.

"I can't," he said. He almost sounded ashamed, but there was a very clear note of finality in his voice that shattered the emotional bubble Sirrus had released.

"You can't? Or you won't?" Sirrus demanded, getting angry. "Tell me, Father, would you rather I have died? Would it be easier for you to get on with your life like you never had sons, rather than accepting the fact that I'm here, and that I'm a different person than I was?"

"Do you think I'm the same?" Atrus asked levelly.

"You don't act as if you've changed," Sirrus shot back. He could tell that he was pushing his father too far, but, at the moment, he didn't care. Anger's old, familiar flame was burning inside his chest, and he clung to it like a security blanket, his only friend in this strange world that was supposed to be his home.

Atrus shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He was angry now, too, though he was trying very hard to hide it. When he opened his eyes, he and Sirrus just stood, staring at each other, extremes of emotion crackling between them. After a moment, Atrus seemed to deflate and shook his head. Then he left the study, pulling the door shut behind him and leaving Sirrus staring after him in bewilderment.

* * *

The sound of footsteps intruded on Sam's early morning dreams, and she woke slowly, keeping her eyes closed in the vain hope of letting sleep reclaim her. But the footsteps were followed by the sound of the elevator, and Sam sat up just in time to catch a glimpse of it ascending to Atrus's workshop. 

That was weird. Usually, if Atrus had been battling insomnia, this was around the time he headed back to bed. When more footsteps sounded, Sam went to the door and stuck her head out curiously.

Catherine was standing up by her and Atrus's bedroom, apparently waiting for the elevator. Sure enough, it descended almost immediately from Atrus's workshop, crossed the water, and came to a stop next to her. She got in and the elevator headed towards the workshop once more.

Sam frowned. What was going on? Her first thought was that Atrus and Catherine had a fight, but that didn't feel right. Quietly, she padded out of the bedroom and went to investigate.

The kitchen was empty. Sirrus's cot looked slept in, but he was nowhere to be seen. On a hunch, Sam headed in the direction of Atrus's study.

She made it as far as the end of the passage that descended from Catherine's study when she spied Sirrus standing in the courtyard, clinging to the railing, his back to her. His entire posture radiated tension.

Sam stood by the door, hesitating. She had told Zanika that she wasn't going to interfere once Sirrus was on Tomahna. But, obviously, something had happened; in addition to Sirrus's uneasy presence, there was a charged feeling in the air, as if too many emotions had been released at once.

She sighed. The situation was beginning to look strangely familiar. The challenges were different, to be sure, but the approach was more or less the same. If things were going to run smoothly for Atrus, Sam was going to have to oil the gears a bit first, whether she wanted to or not. Reluctantly, she opened the door and stepped out into the courtyard.

Sirrus showed no sign of having heard Sam arrive. He stood very still, gripping the railing so tightly that his knuckles were white, and staring blankly out across the landscape. For some reason, he had taken off his vest and un-tucked his shirt. He looked so uncomfortable that Sam almost felt sorry for him. So, instead of demanding to know what had happened, she went and stood a short distance from Sirrus, leaned her elbows on the railing, and waited for him to say something.

She didn't have to wait long.

"You were wrong," Sirrus declared without turning.

"What about?" Sam asked.

"This isn't easy. There's no way that _any _of this can be easy." Sirrus sighed and hung his head. "Father treats life like a book. I'm part of a chapter of his life that's over, and I don't fit in with what he has now. I saw the look on his face. He doesn't even want to try to go back to the way things used to be."

"On Myst, you mean," Sam said thoughtfully.

"Yes," Sirrus nodded. "On Myst."

Sam was quiet for a moment. Then she said, "I don't think this is about going back."

Sirrus raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't think Atrus is capable of going back," Sam replied. "Too much has happened, a lot of it bad, or at least unpleasant. Every time he tries to settle down and recover, something comes along and upsets things again." She drummed her fingers on the railing and frowned a little. "He's always trying to move forward, and maybe that's what needs to happen here."

"How?" Sirrus asked, sounding confused.

Sam shrugged. "Search me. I don't know what's going on inside your head. You don't seem at all like the way I remember you, so if you really have changed, then maybe you'd better start by showing Atrus that you're different now."

"That's exactly the problem," Sirrus said, finally turning to look at Sam. His gaze met hers for the first time in the conversation, and Sam was surprised to see that it held none of the power or frightening coldness that she remembered. Instead, Sirrus looked confused, lost, and, somehow, extremely vulnerable.

"What is?" Sam found herself asking.

"_I_ didn't change. It's like I was…changed from the outside, made to be a different person," Sirrus sighed again. "There was no transition. I can remember being who I was, and I can remember the thoughts and feelings I used to have, but I don't have them any more. I didn't get myself to that point. I didn't overcome my anger and dissatisfaction and jealousy. I didn't learn to care or decide that family was more important than everything else I wanted. I wasjust one way, and now I'm another. I'm unfamiliar with my own thoughts and feelings. I don't see how I'm supposed to make everything work out if I don't even recognize myself."

Much to Sirrus's surprise, Sam started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Sirrus demanded, finding no humor in the situation.

Sam shook her head. "It's just that the Serenians seem so _sure _that Dream holds the answers for everything. Maybe it does for them, but what good does that do us?"

"'We give you your own memories as a guide,'" Sirrus said absently, unsure of why he was saying it.

"What?" Sam asked, surprised.

Sirrus shrugged. "It was just something I…heard. In Dream."

"Hmm," Sam looked thoughtfully out at the landscape for a moment. "A guide, huh?"

"Yes," Sirrus answered cautiously.

"Funny thing about guides," Sam said, "is that they tend to lead you to where you need to be, even if you have no idea where you're going."

"I thought I knew where I wanted things to go," Sirrus said wistfully.

"That could be exactly your problem," Sam replied. "You're trying to make things be the way you _think_ they ought to be. But, if you have a guide, you've got to trust that it's going to lead you to the right place, regardless of what you think the right place is."

Sirrus stared at her in disbelief. He couldn't fathom why, after two days of being hostile and distant, his father's friend was trying to help him.

"Why are you saying all this?" he asked finally.

"Honestly? Because Atrus is my friend, and I want this to work out for him," Sam replied. "I think he wants it to work, too, though I'm not sure he knows it yet."

"He certainly isn't acting like it," Sirrus said with a sigh, turning his gaze to the landscape again.

"Oh, would you stop that?" Sam exclaimed, exasperated. "You're not acting like it either. If you want things to work out, you have to put some effort into it. You can't just give it one try and then give up because it's too hard."

"So what do you suggest I do?" Sirrus asked.

"Give it time," Sam replied.

Sirrus raised an eyebrow. "Is that all?"

"Yes," Sam nodded. "It's like I said last night: this is between you and Atrus."

And with that, Sam quietly walked away, leaving Sirrus alone with his thoughts and memories.


	8. An Impossible Situation

**Author's Note**: Sorry for the shortness of this chapter! Again, it gave me more trouble than I thought it was going to, but that shouldn't be the case with the next chapter. Enjoy, and please review if you can!

**Chapter 7 – An Impossible Situation**

Atrus paced his workshop. Normally when he was upset or confused, he would work, and the mere act of concentrating on something technical and straightforward would help his thoughts fall into place. This time, though, he couldn't bring himself to sit down and do anything.

He hadn't wanted to admit to himself how much Sirrus's presence on Tomahna was affecting him, and he thought he had been doing a fairly good job of holding it together until this morning. When Sirrus had said he wanted another chance, the utter desperation in his voice had been too much. There was anger there, too, and loneliness, and Atrus couldn't help but blame himself for the presence of those emotions.

He was having emotions of his own now, emotions that he hadn't experienced in a very long time and wasn't keen to revisit. He was angry with Sirrus for trying to bring the ghosts of the past back to life, and he was angry with himself for being angry. He felt unsettled and adrift, as if the life he had so patiently been trying to make for himself and his family had once again been pulled out from under him. He wanted to cry, but he knew it wouldn't do any good.

So he paced. It was the only thing he could do until his thoughts stopped rushing around his head.

A sound made him turn, and he realized with a start that the elevator was docking behind him. He hadn't heard it leave, though it must have, because now it was back, bearing a worried-looking Catherine. She said nothing as she emerged from the elevator and came to stand beside him. For a moment, they looked at each other in silence.

"Are you all right?" Catherine asked eventually.

Atrus shook his head. He wanted to be able to say that he was fine, but he couldn't lie to Catherine.

"What did he say to you?" she wanted to know, apparently already having guessed what had gone on between him and Sirrus.

Atrus shook his head again and walked a few paces towards the window.

"He's so different from my memories of him," he said quietly. "It was like talking to a stranger."

"Yes, but what did he say?" Catherine repeated. Her tone was gentle, questioning and not demanding.

"He wants—" Atrus began, then paused as the words caught in his throat. "He wants us to be a family again."

"Don't you?" Catherine asked softly. Atrus turned to her, his eyes clouded.

"I don't know," he whispered. "There is a part of me that wants to say yes."

Catherine reached over and took his hand. "What's holding you back?"

Atrus sighed. "I think I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"The past coming back to haunt us." Atrus squeezed Catherine's hand. "I fear that there's more to lose than there is to gain in this situation."

"How can that be true?" Catherine asked. "This is like a miracle, Atrus. I told you, we've been given a second chance; all of us have."

"I don't know if I can bring myself to trust him," Atrus said. "So much has happened since he and Achenar were boys. And Yeesha…I don't know what I'm going to tell her. I don't know _how _to tell her."

"Why don't we focus on making things right with our son first," Catherine suggested gently. "I believe it will work out."

Atrus took Catherine's other hand and met her gaze, an old sadness darkening his eyes.

"I wish I could share that belief," he replied. Catherine could tell that he meant it, and it made her feel uncertain for the first time since their son's return.

* * *

Two more days passed in which no progress was made. Sirrus continued to avoid talking to Atrus, and Atrus spent most of his time in his workshop in any case. Catherine took to cleaning almost obsessively, straightening things that didn't need straightening, pausing only to make meals and to sleep. 

Sirrus even went so far as to disappear for several hours on the morning of the second day. Nobody asked where he had gone; the break from the constant, charged silence between him and Atrus was a relief. But Catherine still cleaned and Atrus still worked, so Sam found herself alone.

She went down to Atrus's study, her sandals making almost no noise after she left the walkway. Cautiously, and feeling a little guilty as she did so, she locked the door behind her before approaching the bookshelves.

In all other things, Sam was honest with Atrus. She had no reason not to be; he had always been honest with her, putting his trust in her even when he had barely known her. But this, she never told him about.

Her searching hand found the book she had been looking for, tucked so far behind the other volumes on a top shelf that it would have been impossible to find if she hadn't known it was there. She took it over to the other side of the room and stretched out on her stomach on the floor near the double doors, utilizing the late afternoon light as it filtered through the glass.

She had never told Atrus that she knew where he kept the Myst book. There was too much attached to it for him, too much of his past stored in the pages of writing that described the little island world. And yet he kept the book within reach, a difficult reach to be sure, but still accessible in a room where he spent much of his time. It was as if he wanted desperately to forget and remember all at once.

Sam opened the book carefully and stared down at the linking image. She had never been back to Myst after her first journey, though occasionally she did wonder what had become of the place. Her visit to the study was both out of curiosity and the hope that, maybe, the book that held the place Sirrus remembered as home would give her an idea that could help remedy the horrible tension that was hanging over Tomahna. She didn't want to go back; she just wanted to look.

She hadn't expected this. The Myst she remembered was a sunny place with green trees, solid buildings, and gleaming machinery. The image in the linking panel in front of her was almost unrecognizable. The layout was familiar, but the details were all wrong. The sky was dark with clouds and most of the trees were dead. The buildings were covered with something that looked like ivy. Rain drummed on the devices, some of which were beginning to rust. All in all, Myst Island looked…dead.

After staring at the image for several minutes, Sam realized that she was looking at a physical representation of what she had seen going on around her for the past few days. Horrible as it seemed, it made sense. Myst Island represented a family that had been and things that had worked, but that life was just as dead as the island. Did that mean there was no hope?

Sam shut the book and rested her chin in her hand. That couldn't be right. There was always hope. Even in the weirdest, most difficult situations that she had gotten into while trying to help Atrus in the past, there had always been a solution. And right now, she had to find it. She had been fighting getting too involved, but the truth was that she had been involved since her first conversation with Sirrus on Serenia.

So she started to think. What was different? What did Atrus and Catherine have now that they hadn't had on Myst?

Yeesha.

The thought came so quickly that Sam was startled by it. It was a crazy thing to think. Yeesha had been at the center of the terrible events of the previous year; how could she be the solution now? On the other hand, nothing else was working, and Yeesha seemed to know more about Serenia and Dream than anyone else. Perhaps she could better understand Sirrus's change.

Or things could self-destruct. It was a delicate balance. Whatever the case, Sam knew that she had to talk to Atrus. She was pretty sure that he wouldn't like the idea, but she had to run it past him nonetheless.

* * *

"No." 

Sam examined Atrus's expression carefully before saying anything more. She had located him in his workshop, sitting at the desk with a notebook and some sort of small device, apparently making adjustments. It had been nearly impossible to introduce her idea, but Sam had managed it, and now she was getting just the reaction she had expected.

"Why not?" she said at last, even though she already knew the answer.

Atrus kept his eyes on his notes as he replied. "She's been through too much. This would be a horrible shock to her."

"Atrus, she's going to find out eventually. You said you wanted to get a handle on the situation before telling her, and I respect that, but it isn't looking like that's going to happen." Sam said this as calmly as she could, trying to point out what Atrus couldn't see or didn't want to acknowledge.

Atrus pushed his notebook away and sighed.

"I'll admit that this is a difficult situation," he said quietly.

"It's an _impossible _situation," Sam countered. "You can see that, and I know you can see it because I can see what it's doing to you. The worry and the 'what ifs' are running you ragged." She sighed, as well. "I don't want to push you, Atrus. I just want everything to work out."

Atrus stood, saying nothing, and walked slowly over to the window, hands clasped behind his back. He stared out for several minutes before he spoke.

"I wish more than anything to have the family that I once had," he said. His voice was barely audible. "But the past cannot be resurrected. Achenar is dead, and Sirrus has become something I don't recognize."

"But at least you have him," Sam pointed out. "He didn't die. Catherine's right; this is a second chance." She came to stand beside Atrus and gestured towards the window with a sweep of her arm. "This isn't Myst, and it doesn't have to be. You have your family here now, and I think if things are going to work out with Sirrus, you have to work it out together. All of you, including Yeesha. You can't keep this in limbo forever."

Behind them, the elevator whirred and docked, and Catherine stepped out.

"Could you please talk some sense into him?" Sam asked her, nodding towards Atrus.

Catherine smiled wanly. "I already tried."

"Then we've both done all we can, I suppose." Sam turned back to Atrus and laid a hand gently on his shoulder. "Just think about what I said, all right? You don't have to suffer any more."

Atrus nodded, but said nothing more. As she turned and headed for the elevator, Sam hoped that her words would end up having at least a small impact on whatever decision that Atrus and Catherine ended up making.


	9. Revelations

**Author's Note**: Thanks for the reviews:) And now, here they are, the last chapter and the epilogue. I hope you enjoy them. Please R&R and let me know!  
Also, I went back and did a full-story edit, since I started playing Revelation again and realized that some of my Tomahna layout errors were horribly obvious. Those should all be fixed now, as should any spelling and grammar problems.  
**  
Chapter 8 – Revelations**

Sirrus sat alone in the courtyard outside his father's study, staring out at the landscape. He had spent the last several hours hiking the regions of Tomahna that lay beyond the buildings, and he was feeling rather awestruck.

He wished he'd had a notebook to bring on the hike. After seeing the landscape close up, he wanted to map it, to put down on paper the amazing expanse that he'd taken in as he walked.

The outer reaches of Tomahna were nothing short of amazing. Beyond the buildings and the lake, trees gave way to high cliffs of red rock that were stained white in some places where waterfalls had left behind mineral residue in the past. Rough paths that looked as though they had been hewn by a river that was no longer there ran across the landscape, passing between the cliffs and under rock formations that Sirrus could never have imagined, even in his wildest dreams. Here and there, a lone tree stood, leaves waving in the gentle breeze that seemed almost constant here.

And then, just when Sirrus had been about to turn back, he'd reached the edge of the land. The reddish-brown dirt under his feet gave way to red sand streaked with white, which met a gorgeous expanse of water, a blue-green sea rippling in the breeze and lapping the sand almost silently.

Sirrus had stood on the beach for a long time, staring out at the water and thinking. He thought about other Ages he had visited through the years: Channelwood, with its treetop civilization and water as far as the eye could see; Amateria, all blue crystal and hexagonal shapes, its stormy sky always threatening but never raining in the time he was there; and even Spire, which, despite its hellish atmosphere, had its interesting points, most of them hidden deep within the structure of the Age.

Then, very carefully, he had let his thoughts drift back to Myst. Compared to Tomahna, it was small and simple, nothing more than an island in an expanse of water, nothing more than a dream put to paper, a dream of a life yet to be lived and experiences yet to be had.

Tomahna seemed like that, in a way. It was so much larger, so much more detailed, than Myst had been, and yet Atrus only utilized a small part of it. All of the buildings clustered around the lake, while out on the rocky expanses, trees stood alone and the sun beat down on an unused beach, reflecting off the water and the sand in a way designed to dazzle any who looked at it. It was almost as if, though the Age seemed complete, the life taking place on it was a work in progress. There were things yet to be done and places yet to be visited, and for one brief moment Sirrus had felt that maybe he could fit into one of those places.

He was trying to hold onto that feeling now, as he gazed across what little of the expanse that could be seen from the courtyard. He was startled out of his reverie when a door creaked behind him. He half-turned to see one of the doors open and Sam standing with her back against the doorframe.

"I was wondering where you got off to," she said when she saw him looking.

"You're seeking me out now?" Sirrus asked in surprise.

"Call it a role reversal," Sam replied. "You wanted to talk to me the other night, and now I want to talk to you." She crossed the courtyard and sat on the bench, resting her elbows on her knees. Sirrus looked down at her and cocked an eyebrow.

"I thought you weren't going to be the messenger," he said.

Sam laughed. "I'm not."  
"What, then?"

"I figured that, since I'm in the middle of this anyway, I might as well tell you something halfway useful," Sam replied. "Come on, sit down."

Hesitantly, Sirrus joined Sam on the bench, leaning away from her as if he was afraid of what she was going to say.

It was strange to see him looking what was, for him, disheveled. His characteristic neatness had been dulled by hours of hiking; dust coated his shoes and clung to his shirt where, despite the cool air of Tomahna, he had sweated, and his hair was mildly windblown. Sam found that she had to stop herself from grinning at the sight.

"I've been a friend of this family for twenty years," she said, resting her chin in her hand. "As a result, I've been to places that I never could have imagined, and done things that most people would have a hard time believing. Not all of it has been good, but it's all been worth the time.

"I've seen the more domestic side of things, too. I've helped Catherine cook and I've handed Atrus tools while he tinkered with whatever the heck it is he tinkers with all the time. I've seen the struggle for stability and, once in a great while, a rare moment of happiness.

"You'd think that, after all of that, I'd feel like I belong here, but the truth is, I've always been somewhat of an outsider, and I always will be. Sure, Atrus and I have an important bond, and I've been around through some of the crazier times of his life, but I've come to realize that there will always be something that I don't understand. There are things that I'm not a part of, and as weird as that is, I have to accept it. I'm part of what I'm part of for a reason, and I just have to let everything else slide." Sam looked at Sirrus and raised her eyebrows. "You get what I'm saying?"

Sirrus nodded slowly.

"But I don't have to like it," he said quietly.

Sam chuckled. "No, you don't. But being able to live with it helps."

Sirrus nodded again, his gaze wandering back to the landscape. Then he said,

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure," Sam replied, trying to hide her surprise. Sirrus looked uncomfortable, but he spoke anyway, keeping his eyes on the view rather than on Sam as he did so.

"When Achenar and I were younger, we used to look at Father's Ages and wonder why he wasted his time on small things," he said. "I can remember some of the things that we said, the criticism we threw around, the arguments we had because we both thought that we knew everything.

"It didn't take us long to figure out that the few early lessons that Father gave us were the only glimpse we were going to get of the Art, and we resented it. Everything he wrote from then on, we viewed with contempt. All we saw was his technical approach to what we thought was the greatest power a person could have, and we thought him a fool for not taking advantage of it. The rest, I guess, is history. Achenar and I did everything that we could to get our hands on the power that we thought we deserved, and look where it landed us.

"And then today, I was hiking, and it finally occurred to me how wrong we both were. I suppose I already knew—the Old Guardians made sure of that—but this was the first time I really _felt _it. It was the first time in years that I was able to look around me and see beauty, and I realized that looking at the Art with jealousy and greed for all those years made me miss the point. Something so technical and precise that can somehow call into being things of such great beauty deserves respect."

Sirrus paused, seeming embarrassed by how much he had said. For a moment, Sam thought that he was finished, but then he sighed and stared down at his hands as if he were suddenly a small child and nearly whispered,

"I realized that my father deserves respect."

_Took you long enough,_ Sam thought, but she knew that it was the wrong time to point this out. Instead, she nodded and said,

"Yes, he does."

They sat in silence for a moment before a sound in the study made Sam turn. She saw Atrus at his desk, and she got the immediate impression that he and Catherine had reached a decision. She got up, leaving Sirrus to his own thoughts, and went into the study, closing the door behind her.

"What's up?" she asked quietly.

Atrus looked up from paging through his journal, which had been lying open on the desk.

"Catherine agrees that I should bring Yeesha home," he answered, though there was still a note of doubt in his voice.

Sam looked back over her shoulder at Sirrus sitting in the courtyard, the image slightly distorted by the tinted glass of the door.

"You know, I don't think you have anything to worry about," she said, and meant it. Atrus looked at her inquisitively, but all he said was,

"I'll be linking to Serenia in the morning."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Sam offered.

Atrus shook his head. "Thank you, my friend, but I need to do this myself."

* * *

The Serenians didn't seem at all surprised to see Atrus when he linked in the next morning, and they merely smiled when he told them that he was there to bring Yeesha home. It was as if they had been expecting him, but Atrus couldn't yet be sure if this was a good thing. 

Yeesha seemed happy when she arrived in the stone courtyard with Anya. Seeing her smile made it all the more difficult for Atrus to find the words to explain what was going on, but he did the best he could as he and Yeesha walked the stone paths back to the cave the housed the Tomahna linking book.

Yeesha took the news in silence, looking more pensive than upset, and Atrus could only imagine what she was thinking. She said nothing as they prepared to link home. Once again, Atrus felt a flicker of doubt and hoped that he was doing the right thing.

On Tomahna, it was nearing lunch time. Atrus had been gone for several hours, and Catherine was beginning to get worried. She started to clean again, and Sam kept well out of her way, not wanting to make more tension than there already seemed to be. Instead, she headed quietly for the kitchen and busied herself making lunch.

Sirrus turned up about ten minutes later. He had disappeared shortly after being informed that Yeesha was coming home, and from the look of it, he had been hiking again. He looked around the kitchen for a moment with an air of uncertainty, then went to the sink to wash his hands.

"Chop this," Sam ordered when he was done, handing him a small bundle of herbs.

Sirrus raised his eyebrows. "Okay?"

"Better than standing around, looking at the walls like they're going to bite you," Sam said. "Plus, it'll be nice to have a meal on the table when Atrus comes back."

Sirrus said nothing. Sam could tell that he was just as nervous and uncertain about the situation as Atrus had been. Truth be told, so was she, but she was doing her best not to show it. Bringing Yeesha home had been her idea, and, despite the fact that both Atrus and Catherine had ended up agreeing, Sam still felt responsible for whatever happened because of it.

Soon, Catherine was drawn to the kitchen by the smell of lunch cooking. She started to set the table out of habit, glancing towards the door anxiously as she did so.

"They'll be fine," Sam assured her, wishing that she felt as sure as she sounded. She turned her attention back to the stove and tried to keep her mind on cooking.

Finally, footsteps sounded on the walkway outside. Sirrus started, nearly cutting himself, and Catherine was out the door in an instant. Sam kept her eyes on the stove, but strained her ears in an attempt to catch any snatches of conversation that might clue her in to how Yeesha had taken the news about Sirrus.

For a moment, there was silence, then the footsteps started again, this time one set, running in the direction of the kitchen. Sam looked up in surprise, and there was Yeesha, standing in the doorway, her expression unreadable. Atrus and Catherine caught up to her a moment later, both looking apprehensive.

Sam glanced over her shoulder at Sirrus, and found him standing absolutely still, staring at Yeesha with the same look of unease. It was strange to see him apparently afraid of his little sister, rather than the other way around.

This was it, the moment that would make or break everything.

Then, very slowly, Yeesha crossed the room and stood, looking up at Sirrus with eyes that seemed far too old for a girl of eleven. Her critical stare froze Sirrus to the spot for a long moment before she nodded, apparently to herself, and stepped forward to hug him.

Sam let out a breath that she hadn't been aware she was holding, and thought she could hear Atrus and Catherine doing the same. In that one moment, all of the tension that had been building since Sirrus's arrival on Tomahna seemed to dissipate, leaving an empty, expectant atmosphere.

Atrus broke the silence, clearing his throat.

"Shall we eat?" he suggested, his voice slightly hoarse.

* * *

The days that followed were nothing short of bizarre. Sam stuck around, hovering in the background, watching as things suddenly started falling into place. It seemed that Yeesha's acceptance of Sirrus's presence had broken all the barriers that had been preventing things from being harmonious. 

Yeesha wouldn't tell anyone what had made her forgive her brother. Whatever had gone through her head remained a secret, although Sam had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with Serenia, Dream, and the Old Guardians. She thought Catherine might share her feelings on the matter, but if she did, she never voiced it. Atrus, whose understanding of Serenia continued to remain scientific, seemed baffled. However, he didn't question his daughter's decision.

In fact, the day after Yeesha came home, Atrus and Sirrus spent several hours in Atrus's study, talking instead of arguing, and Catherine, Yeesha, and Sam left them to it. There was much for the two of them to discuss and work out, and this first real conversation, while a step in the right direction, was only the beginning of what would have to follow if things were going to be resolved entirely.

Finally, Sam decided that she had better head home. Despite the fact that she wanted to be around in case anything suddenly went wrong, she did have her own life to get back to. So she began to pack up her things, thinking how strange it would be to go home after visiting Tomahna for so long.

She was just finishing packing up her clothes when the sound of footsteps made her turn. She was alone in Yeesha's room; Yeesha was in the kitchen with Catherine and Atrus was in his workshop. That left Sirrus, and there he was, standing in the doorway, looking awkward.

"Something I can help you with?" Sam asked with half a grin.

"I, uh," Sirrus cleared his throat. "I wanted to thank you."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

"For putting up with me," Sirrus replied. "I know you didn't want to most of the time, but you did anyway, and thanks to you, things are working out."

"I think you should be thanking Yeesha for that," Sam said. "She was the only one willing to forgive you."

"I know," Sirrus nodded, "but without you, I'd still be stuck in that room on Serenia. Whether or not they really get answers from their ancestors, you were a big part of this, and I need to thank you for that."

He stuck his hand out and looked at Sam. Sam stared at him for a moment, feeling oddly relieved. If Sirrus, of all people, was learning how to appreciate what other people did for him, then things really were working out. There really was hope for Atrus and his family. She stepped forward and shook Sirrus's hand slowly, smiling to herself.

"You're welcome," she said quietly. "But don't screw it up, okay?"

For the first time in all the years Sam had known him, Sirrus laughed.

"Okay," he agreed.


	10. Epilogue: Six Months Later

**Epilogue – Six Months Later**

Sam's Journal

_Well journal, here I am again in Tomahna. It's nice to be back so soon, and even nicer to see that things have been going well since the last time I was here._

_The first thing I noticed upon arrival was that Atrus has built Sirrus a bedroom. It's situated a level up from Yeesha's, sort of set into the cliff side, overlooking the expanse that he still seems to enjoy hiking. The walkway that used to switch between Atrus and Catherine's bedroom, the kitchen, and Yeesha's room is now immobile, and there's a new moving walkway that Yeesha and Sirrus share between their bedrooms and the kitchen. It looks complete rather than additional, which, I think, is what Atrus was going for, and what Sirrus needed so badly._

_Catherine is happier than I've ever seen her. She's been spending a lot of time in her garden rooms, sometimes with Yeesha, but mostly alone, and she's been smiling to herself almost constantly._

_Atrus is, as usual, hard to read, but I have a feeling that he's happy, too. I caught him whistling earlier when I went up to the workshop to tell him it was dinner time. After dinner, he and Sirrus sat down to a game of chess, and nobody's been able to tear them away._

_I hate to admit it, but the Serenians were right. I did end up having a hand in all this, much as I tried to fight it, and everything seems to be working out okay._

_I must confess, even I'm surprised by the change in atmosphere around Tomahna. Much of the old sadness is gone, and the feeling that something large and unavoidable is hanging over everyone has disappeared. There is, inevitably, the subject of Achenar, but it seems that everyone is able to cope better now that the family is stable._

_It's kind of weird, but I'm finding Sirrus much easier to be around. Whatever the Old Guardians did to or with his memories, it seems that he's gotten in touch with it over the past months and is a much different—and better—person than I've ever known him to be._

_He wanted me to go hiking with him earlier. I almost said no, but Catherine was grinning at me, so I agreed. I didn't have the heart to tell her that there's no way in hell things are ever going to get _that _friendly._

_Sirrus and I had a good hike, though. He showed me a gorgeous beach that I had no idea existed, and told me how he's been slowly mapping all of Tomahna. I think he wants to be friends, which seems strange to me, but I guess it's possible if he remains as decent as he has been these past few days._

_I should go now. Sounds like Yeesha wants me to have a look at one of her experiments.

* * *

_  
Yeesha's Journal

_Today Sirrus tried to teach me to play chess, but I'm not very good at it. He says I have to keep practicing, but I don't know._

_Dad's been talking to Sirrus a lot, mostly about technical things. Mom says that's good and that they're getting along. I want to tell her that I knew they would, but I can't explain how I knew._

_Mom says that Dad still thinks of Serenia like a puzzle, but I know it's really more like a dream. I think Sirrus knows, too, but he never says so._

_Dad's friend is staying with us again. I showed her the experiment Mom and I have been doing with two of the flowers in the incubators. She seemed impressed._

_I want to go back and visit Anya. Maybe I'll ask Dad if I can go next week.

* * *

_  
Catherine's Journal

_What a long time it's been since I last wrote. So much has happened, so many amazing things, that I can scarcely believe it._

_Having Sirrus back is like a miracle, a crazy dream come true. Before, when I used to think of Sirrus and Achenar, it was always in terms of the past. It always had to be. I never could have imagined a situation like the one we have now._

_Of course, I still miss Achenar, and I always will. I suppose I must remind myself that he had his own part to play, and, despite the fact that his story ended tragically, what he did was good, and he was redeemed in his own way._

_Yeesha's courage through everything erases any doubts I have from day to day. I don't suppose I'll ever understand how or why she has complete trust in Sirrus again, but her forgiveness of him has saved this family, and for that I think we should all be grateful._

_As for Sirrus, we haven't talked very much. He spends much of his time alone or with Atrus, hiking, mapping, and building. It's wonderful to see him happily occupied. I do wish that the two of us could talk, but to be honest, I am often at a loss for what to say to him. It's a delicate balance, a long road, and each bridge must be crossed as we come to it. This is one that is in the distance as of yet._

_Atrus's friend has spent the past few days with us, helping with whatever she can, patiently listening whenever Yeesha wants to explain an experiment, and keeping Sirrus company. It's nice having her visit. I think that, over the years, she has kept Atrus balanced in ways that I can't, and of course she has helped us much more than we can ever properly thank her for._

_And Atrus…Atrus is happy. It's such a rare thing to see him smile, to see his eyes light up over something other than a device or an Age. And, of course, when he's happy, I am happy. For once, we have nothing to worry about. The past that always seemed to haunt us has come full circle and has turned into something wonderful.

* * *

_  
Atrus's Journal

_These past months, I have tried to understand how Sirrus's personality came to change so drastically, and how Yeesha was able to forgive him after all that transpired. Finally, I think, I must accept that Sirrus was saved by a force that I do no entirely understand, and that Yeesha had her own reasons for giving him the second chance that I myself was so reluctant to give._

_Whatever her reasons, Yeesha's forgiveness of her brother continues to amaze me. Her willingness to extend her love and trust to him despite everything is something that I wish I could fully understand. She is so young, and yet, at times, it seems that she is far wiser than people many times her age._

_My friend amazes me, as well, for sticking by us through all of this, never once pushing any of us to make a decision. She simply watches and waits, somehow always knowing when is the right time to step in and when she should keep her distance. For that, I am more grateful than I can express._

_It's becoming less and less awkward to have Sirrus here. The two of us have managed to find common ground in building devices and playing chess. Rather than constantly being on the brink of an argument, it seems that we are approaching an understanding._

_My daughter, my son, my wife, and my dearest friend, all together and happy in one place at one time. It's something I never could have imagined. As my friend said, this is not Myst; this is the present, something new, a new chapter in a book that I thought had closed forever.

* * *

_  
Sirrus's Journal

_Though I've been writing in here for several months now, it seems strange to be keeping a journal again. Nearly everything I wrote for twenty years was technical in nature, and I still have difficulty in putting my feelings on paper._

_I find that I'm adjusting well to Tomahna. The bedroom Father built for me looks out towards the beach, though I can't see it from the window. At night, the smell from the dying embers of the kitchen fire fills the room. It's the most comfortable place I've ever slept in._

_I find myself wanting to spend more time with Father's friend, though her name constantly escapes me and I think she still finds me somewhat of a fool.  
Father and I have begun working together to build a few small devices. It's slow going, as there are still many things between us that we're unwilling or unable to talk about, but the mere act of sitting in his workshop, pouring over notes and diagrams, has made things easier. The relationship between us is, for now, more like two scientific minds than father and son, but I can live with that. It's more than I've had since my great-grandmother died._

_I know Father is intently curious about some of the devices that I was able to build on Spire, but he's too polite to ask, for which I'm grateful. Perhaps, eventually, I'll be able to tell him how everything worked, but for now I can't bring myself to discuss it. Much of what I did on Spire was for one selfish purpose, and until I can come to terms with who I was and forgive myself the way my sister has forgiven me, that will all remain firmly in the past._

_It doesn't matter, I suppose. I have a family again. I can watch my sister grow up. I can appreciate the beauty of Tomahna. That's more than I ever could have asked for all those long nights on Spire._

_Finally, I'm home._

THE END


End file.
